The depths of our loss of Village

Did you know ... ?

"Maternal suicide remains the most common cause of direct and indirect maternal mortality in Victoria."

http://rcvmhs.archive.royalcommission.vic.gov.au/Consultative_Council_on_Obstetric_and_Paediatric_Mortality_and_Morbidity.pdf

This is something everyone needs to know. We all need to open our eyes and take this in. It is common to be aware of the physical causes of death and 'risks' associated with childbirth, it is the story of many women within the maternity system to be informed of the risk of death or injury to themself or their baby associated with birth and pregnancy choices, of procedures, of birth in general. But how often are we made aware of the greatest risk to mothers at this time? Of suicide.

This is preventable death, this is our lack of village hidden in the dark places on one like to look at. Thinking of the image of mother and child holds different meaning too each of us, but for most there is a sense of joy a sense of loving. The bond between mother and child can be considered one of the most potent connections of our lives. 
To know that this bond is severed in one of the most tragic ways imaginable more often then we like to believe is hard to accept. As a community, as a village is is one statistic we can all contribute to changing. 

To health professionals- we need to bring specific awareness, assessment skills, intuition, and compassion to our clinical practice. We are so often the contact point, the opportunity, the moment to read between the lines. 

I recently attended this workshop which i highly recommend
https://livingworks.com.au/training/livingworks-asist/#:~:text=The%20two%2Dday%20ASIST%20workshop,access%20help%20and%20find%20hope.

For women who are pregnant, make plans for support every step of the way, and new mothers who are fighting to have a reason to live  - TELL SOMEONE NOW.
You are worth it, life is worth it, there is nothing you cant come back from

https://www.lifeline.org.au/
13 11 14

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/

To anyone else who sees this, check in with new families, if you see a mother, SEE her, not just her baby. You can admire the wonder-human she has made, who she has gifted this earth with, who she is nurturing with all she has, but also ask her how she is doing and listen closely for the answer. 

The story that follows is another example of how our 'loss of Village' has profoundly effected me as a practicing midwife. 

*trigger warning- Infant death*

I once met a woman in the emergency department who was transferred to my workplace from another hospital where she had birthed just a few hours prior. She had fallen asleep during breastfeeding her newborn for the first time and had suffocated him. He required extensive resuscitation and came to my workplace for the Neonatal Intensive Care Services, and after a week or so his life support was turned off. 

In what culture is a mother, newly birthed, alone? Ours. This woman should have been surrounded by care, if not for her physical support as she rests, then for the pure celebration of her achievement. If not to care of the baby when her arms are tired, then to marvel at the feeling of being present with our world’s newest human being. Did we forget just how miraculous this is, just how intelligent her body was, how to have gratitude for our fertility and growth as a species?

It simply would not have happened in times gone by. Our culture, within the hospital has restrictions on visiting times, the number of visitors, now the vaccination status of visitors, restriction on staff, pressures of time and space. Protocols on who is allowed to be with a ‘patient’, and when. This hospital that does so well at mending and saving people, also breaks them. We did not see this WHOLE woman and we failed her.

I sat with this broken woman for hours. She told me how difficult her life had been leading up to the birth, she had had very little rest due to multiple stressors in her life, and everyone around her had been holding on to the feeling of hope this baby would bring. The pressure was high, and the support was, well, non-existent. 

This is an extreme example of where our lack of Village has failed us. It failed her. As a midwife, I carry her story, deep in my heart. I carry her grief.  I know how deeply the loss of our Village is felt inside us, even if we do not yet know it. I carry her story, along with so many other tales of the lives of those I have brushed paths with. I hold them inside me, they are my fuel for making a better world. Their energy, the force that drives me on. This loss will not be forgotten or had in vain. It will be the life that transformed into saving the life of others, to saving humanity and saving our earth.
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