Finding our Village
The loss of ‘the village’ though rarely acknowledged or spoken about, is the root cause to many of our problems and difficulties, particularly as parents. The task of raising a child was rarely done alone in days gone by. The past held other challenges, however there was much more ‘community energy’ and parenting wasn’t associated with the lonely experience it has become for so many. The fences weren’t as high, the houses not so large and ‘equipped’ for just one family, you didn’t have your own pool or tennis court… sometimes even the kitchen and living space was shared. Children played together in the street and bushes near their houses. A parent or grandparent was usually home and mostly extended family did not live overseas. We no longer have ourselves reflected at us by those around us. We are no longer witnessed in our struggles and triumphs. We live in a time of dispersment, and although we have all reveled in the delights of international travel and ease of movement, have we opened our hearts to what we have lost?
We cannot go back, nor would we want to, time moves only forward, however simply acknowledging the times we are in, brand new, uncharted territory every moment on the horizon, then perhaps we will give ourselves some space to fall apart, into it, to continually deconstruct and reconstruct to meet each moment with fluidity and grace. Let’s lift the shame of depression and anxiety of parenthood by understanding that this IS NOT individual failure. This is the failure of our society. This is the lack of Village.
Grieve the loss of the village you don’t have, it is real, and then take micro steps to creating the one you want. Keep showing up to your feelings, keep reaching out, keep longing, keep looking. Use nature, for under our feet is the earth that connects us all. You will find your belonging for it is already here.
